KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS
The body builder takes off his shirt and the woman says, “What a great chest you have!” He tells her, “That’s 100 pounds of dynamite, baby.”
He takes off his pants and the woman says, “What massive calves you have!” The body builder tells her, “That’s 100 pounds of dynamite, baby.”
He then removes his underwear and the woman goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
She said, “I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!”
From Ed Schutte, Hudson Bay, Sask.
THE CHURCH OF HAY
A farmer was desperate to get some hay put up after a few weeks of rain. So he had to work on a Sunday. Later that week, the pastor chided him about not being in church. The farmer replied, “Well pastor, which is better? To be in church thinking about the hay or being in the hayfield thinking about church?”
From Ralph Clark, Lauder, Man.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, “Excuse me, did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?” The pirate says “Arrghh! It’s driving me nuts!”
From A Prairie Home Companion