Jokes – for Feb. 23, 2009

RALPH’S PICK

Ralph Clark from Lauder, Man., sent a file of his favourite jokes. Here’s one:

There’s a new supermarket that’s trying to entice shoppers to buy more by appealing to all their senses. For example, when the automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of eggs and bacon frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore.

A GREEK AND A SCOTSMAN

A Greek and a Scotsman were sitting in a Regina cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes, the Greek guy says, “Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,” arching his eyebrows.

The Scotsman then replies, “Well, it was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

The Scotsman, nodding in agreement, says, “Scots were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars.”

And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, “The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!’

The Scotsman replies, “Indeed, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to women.”

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