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If The World Was Up To Me

Museum of Fine Art, creating the corn maze or Carhenge.

Yet he would have discovered things like grain: enough for his family and his neighbors, fire: to keep his cave warm, and a live version of a round-the-campfire right-wing talk show!

When my turn came, I realized if the world had been populated with people who had my natural limitations, we would never have put a man on the moon, discovered the ballpoint pen or eaten Italian food. We’d have no wheel, no fluorescent lighting or cell phone. We’d never have discovered Greenland or Antarctica, Cream of Wheat, margarine or deficit spending.

I’d like to think I might have thought up palpating cows. I’ve always had a curiosity of how the body works. I remember the first time I ran my arm up the back of a cow and discovered a whole new world! I guess I could have invented veterinary medicine, although I might have been sidetracked by my insistence on curing critters with chants, cures and cowboy poetry!

So, in the end we concluded that we were glad that Thomas Edison, Bill Goodyear, Snoop Dog, John Browning and Raquel Welch came along or the world today would be a less civilized place. I mean, can you imagine living without porch lights, split rim tires, droopy pants, the 30.30 or grape juice?

Baxter Black is a cowboy, poet, humorist, and former large animal veterinarian based in Benson, Arizona –

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