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Life’s secrets, according to you…

Here forthwith, are the most embarrassing things you’ve ever done: Part Two

The only thing I can think of was from a Grade 12 ski trip… I was too scared to jump off the chairlift at the top, so I started going back down (which doesn’t really work). They had to stop the lift, and the operator yelled at me over the loud speaker and I had to jump five feet to get off.

Running errands around town with an old yacht mop hanging off the back bumper… a four-foot wooden handle dragging down every time I slowed down or turned. Very entertaining for everyone on the sidewalks. Got to love a spouse who thought that the back bumper of your Citation was the ideal place to let the mop dry off after cleaning the garage floor!

I scolded my sister-in-law for being terribly rude to her mother during a formal family dinner. Why was it embarrassing? It was well outside the family tradition of ignoring everything negative.

This is not the forum for that story! Thank goodness there was no social media at the time.

Got caught talking smack about a girl while in the bathroom stall at a social, and she was in the other bathroom stall. I was eyeing up her boyfriend and made a few crude comments — she heard it all. Argh!

Oh where do I begin! I have numerous small embarrassing moments. The time in Grade 5 when those velour volleyball shorts were in and I was late for gym class and changed in a flash, and in that flash I also flashed the janitor my tight whities as I fled up the stairs. And then proceeded to flash the entire Grade 5 and 6 class with my cute undies, which had a picture of a boy and girl under an umbrella! Devastation! A boy in my class looked at me, pointed and yelled, “YOU FORGOT TO PUT YOUR SHORTS ON!” then he physically collapsed to the floor in laughter. I ran BACK down the stairs and flashed the janitor again (for good measure) and changed into those damned short shorts. I was “lucky” enough to have the class with my brother, so he made sure it was the first topic of conversation at the dinner table that night. From that day on I was called “Gitch” until about Grade 12.

My kids wanted me to barrel race at the fair. I didn’t want to disappoint them, but wasn’t dressed for the occasion. On that last barrel, the horse picked up steam, eliminating the final piece of friction between my polyester slacks and the saddle, and off the horse I flew. My kids were laughing, although I couldn’t hear them that well for the concussion. I’m quite certain it wasn’t just my kids laughing, either.

To be 18 years old and not be able to talk to a girl!

Sitting my butt on the kitchen table only to realize the warmth I was feeling came from the smushed pile of mashed potatoes that now had the grooved imprint of my cord pants.

Starting a new school with a boy’s haircut in my brother’s hand-me-downs, and getting redirected to the boy’s bathroom accordingly!

When I was 16 years old, I received a DUI and that was embarrassing… overdrinking in general in my younger years. At that age, I was trying to be the life of the party, but looking back now upon that period of my life, I needed to grow up. I have never had addictions issues, it was more about acquiring as many friends as possible. This may have been a result of my dysfunctional relationship with my father. You’re making me think about this.

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