I had the bjeezus scared out of me Saturday afternoon. I ran into a small fleet of UFOs (Unfamiliar Farming Objects) near Nanton, south of Calgary.
There I was out on a beautiful fall day, having a routine look at manure spreading operations – sure, maybe I was a little excited, who wouldn’t be – but, I rounded a corner on this quiet country road, and there they were. Four of the big green suckers roaring around in a wheat field. I had never seen anything like it – at least this year anyway.
Unbelieving my eyes, I stopped to watch. Getting braver I got out of the vehicle for a few photos. I hid behind a steel fence post as not to be seen. They seemed to be going in circles and they were mad. They were chewing away at this crop, spewing dust and crap out the back and shooting seeds out a side discharge pipe into a supply pod that resembled a Bourgault 1100 grain cart.
I suspect they were on a reconnaissance mission, collecting samples until the Mothership from the planet Viterra arrived. I have read about these landings in the UFO bible – Western Seducer.
I was scared, but didn’t feel really threatened until one of the aliens made eye contact and waved. I got the hell out of there.
If I had been closer to Vulcan, Alberta I would have half expected something like this. They already have one spaceship anchored there and everyone knows Vulcanites are a little weird. But in Nanton? It was always so nice there.
I am safe a home now, but I just wanted to warn everyone. If this nice weather persists there could be more of these sightings across the Prairies. Keep the children indoors, and if approached by any of these aliens, the Seducer says don’t feed them until after dark.