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An inspired work on home maintenance


Watch for my new book, “Painting in High Risk
Situations”…the subtitle for this is “painting baseboards white with a new
brown carpet”.  It is a fool’s
game.

You have to buy the book for all details but here are a few
highlights.

  1. Start
    with a good quality paint, but note even though it says it is “no drip”
    that is a false claim. They are lying.
  2. Don’t
    be a half-ass painter. In most cases I find 1/3 or even ¼-ass painter is
    sufficient. It saves time.
  3. As
    another a time saver, even before the old baseboards are removed, mark the
    walls where permanent furniture will be returned once the carpet is
    installed. When painting new baseboards you don’t need to paint between
    those marks as no one will see it anyway.
  4. When
    painting keep a damp cloth handy to dab those pesky spots where the “no
    drip” paint hit the rug.
  5. When
    selecting carpet, go for none-solid colors — they are very forgiving.
  6. One
    new color for carpets some interior designer should consider is “”Oops I
    Dropped The Paint Brush”. I don’t know, the idea just came to me. It would
    be a big seller.
  7. When
    painting and you are up and down a lot, kneeling for baseboards and
    then standing for window and door trim your pants may have a tendency to
    creep down. It can quickly go from being fashionable to borderline
    disgusting. Ignore it and keep working. You have a job to do.
  8. If
    tree breeders really want to be of service to society, they would develop
    a tree with pure white wood so baseboard painting was not needed.
  9. If you
    are naturally right handed, using your left hand to dab that one little
    hard to reach spot usually doesn’t turn out well.
  10. Finally,
    schedule the after-paint job inspection for late evening. Replace all 60
    watt light bulbs with 15 watt bulbs, and make sure “the inspector” is
    drunk and tired.

For those who happen to run into a real wreck, there are
also bonus chapters in the book on running, hiding and lying.

Lee Hart is a long-time blogger and home renovation
specialist when not writing about agriculture. You can reach him at
[email protected]

About the author

Field Editor

Lee Hart

Lee Hart is editor of Cattleman’s Corner based in Calgary.

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